Vayishlach
At the beginning of Parshat Vayishlach, it says that Yaakov told his messengers: “Thus shall you say, to my lord, to Eisav, ‘So said your servant Yaakov: I have lived with Lavan and have lingered until now…'” [Bereshit 32:5]. Yaakov is preparing for his fateful meeting with his brother, and he knows that Eisav harbors ill towards him, so he sends Malachim to prepare Eisav for their upcoming encounter.
Rashi brings two interpretations of the phrase “Im Lavan Garti '' (I have resided with Lavan). The first interpretation focuses on the relationship between the word Garti and the word ger (stranger). Yaakov sends the message to his brother: “I have not become an officer or an important person; I have remained a stranger. You have no reason to hate me for the fact that our father blessed me that I should be a Gvir over my brother, for this blessing never materialized.” “ Lo nitkayema Bi” the Bi of the word Gvir did not happen so I was left only with the letters Ger . This is a message of submission. Eisav, you have nothing to be jealous about. Then Rashi brings a second interpretation: Garti equals in Gematria , the value of Taryag (613), hinting at the fact that “I lived (Garti) with Lavan and I kept the 613 (Taryag) mitzvots, and did not learn from his wicked behavior.” According to this interpretation, Yaakov is not being submissive. On the contrary, he maintains, “I remained a Tzadik for twenty years without succumbing to Lavan’s bad influence .”
The Kli Yakar asks that these are two contradictory messages: One claims “I am nothing, I am like a ger.” The other claims “I am a Tzadik”. I kept all 613 commandments! It is rare that Rashi brings two interpretations that send out contradictory messages. The Kli Yakar has his own answer to this question, but there is an interesting explanation, a totally different take on things, from Rav Gurewicz, the Rosh Yeshiva in Gateshead. His interpretation is that these are not mixed messages. In fact, they are the same message. “You should know that I have nothing, and I am nothing.” When Yaakov says, “I kept the 613 commandments and did not learn from Lavan’s evil ways'' what he is telling Eisav is that “I kept the mitzvots, but they were very lacking because I did not learn from his evil ways.” In other words, while living with Lavan, I saw what passion is and what devotion and mesirut nefesh mean. The way Lavan went about his activities, there was nothing stopping him. He brought to his evil intentions such a dedication and enthusiasm, that my performance of mitzvots paled in comparison to Lavan’s passion and hitlahavut!
Let us give an example. When we hear about a super sale going on and we see people camping outside the store all night long to be the first ones to get in when the doors open . What enthusiasm , courage and strong will these people have? Would we ever see people camping outside a shul to be the first ones to enter ? or outside a yeshiva to be the first ones to sit in front of the Rosh Hayeshiva who is about to give a shiur ?. Their hitlahavut (enthusiasm) for whatever they are trying to get in that shopping mall is more than the hitlahavut for mitzvots. This in fact is a predicament. That is what Yaakov is telling Eisav: True, I kept the 613 mitzvots but I did not learn from Lavan’s passion and enthusiasm in his approach to his evil ways, to apply that enthusiasm to my mitzvots. Thus, Rashi’s two comments are not contradictory messages. Rather, they are in fact the same message.
